When Will My Doctor See A Person, Not A Body

I was about 12 when I began explaining pain and unhappiness to one doctor or another.

It began with stomach pains, infections, then back pains, and eventually I had every symptom that had WebMD telling me to start checking off my bucket list.

This whirl wind of health issues has followed me to present day. Just Monday I had a Rhizotomy, a procedure where nerves were "burnt" in my low back to shut off pain signals. 

I'm sure I can anticipate your feelings on this decision, but after spending more than half of my life in pain and recently losing any quality of life with almost no mobility, I decided it's time to start getting real results. I feel that myself and several medical teams have exhausted all other routes that weren't major surgeries.

My history with medical professionals hasn't always been great, but recently I've become blown away from the lack of quality of care. 

Not only did I wait over an hour for this noon appointment (this wasn't the first hour wait), but I was also fasting, becoming overly dehydrated, missing 2 medication times, and far beyond my sitting tolerance...hence the whole point of my being a patient here.

After nagging the poor receptionist and another 20 minutes later I was taken back to get my IV. Then things flew like a freaking tornado.

 I was without my glasses, face down on a narrow table, exposing my glorious rear end, and who I assume was a nurse injecting who knows what into my IV. 

After my clothing was adjusted (no robe) and a cold pad was placed on my back I wasn't spoken to again. 

The doctor I assume he was, stood arms length from me, never introduced himself, explained nothing, or even offer to udder a grunt to me. Not one name given to me, not one question of comfort, and not one step past a cold pad was explained to me. I do however remember the nurse asking how the assumed doctors family was along with some other all staff chatter, then I was alseep. 

I clearly remember very shortly after laying down feeling drowsy, and I thought to myself, did you just get injected?! I also remember making noise with the injection because it hurt, and never got any "patient care" follow up to my comfort level, I can almost swear that I expressed it hurt. I also meant to ask to be told when I would be drifting off but I guess that time passed too. Speaking of which my IV site feels like a broken wrist...thanks a bunch.

What was this.... a lab rat testing?! I thought I was having what to me was a pretty terrifying procedure done. I mean someone was going to cut off nerve feeling to my back, and I must have expressed at a minimum of a dozen times my fear of losing feeling somewhere not anticipated. 

Sadly, this isn't even close to the first or worst experience I've had; not even in the last 6 months, and not just at this facility. 

Currently I'm rotting away in my bath tub, because sometimes that's all that will do. I am mentally and physically cooked.

 I just got home from a functionality test to tell my employer and insurance just how miserable I am. I cried....sobbed, through the 3 hours of pain because if I didn't complete it the test was invalid, if I seemed insincere and not giving effort I'd be deemed a liar. 

So, I did what I could, I pushed too far, and I'll pay for it....but that doesn't matter mind you...I was also denied an ice pack.

How in Gods good name are people expected to deal with these things. I'm too worried about hitting a bad nerve with my medical team, or too exhausted too keep moving from practice to practice....they do read the charts and have become to see me as a "chronic" patient which translates to hopeless in my mind.

I am shocked and saddened by our healthcare. I know it's a difficult and complex system, but when did people stop caring? I've worked in healthcare, my family works in healthcare, and I can tell you we all have the ability to control how WE affect others. From signing in to the front desk to pushing the papers the right way and having a stand on good moral. 

Being unhealthy is scary, and putting your well being into someone else's hands is asking a lot of a person, take that job seriously, and make an effort to do better.

This fortunately all leaves me with 2 messages of faith.

1) in troubled times ask God to strengthen you, it's surviving to the end when through struggle we learn what it is to have hope.

2) Matthew West's Do Something

"If not us, then who

If not me and you

Right now, it’s time for us to do something

If not now, then when

Will we see an end

To all this pain

It’s not enough to do nothing

It’s time for us to do something

Be the change you want to see.