Not Feeling Like Yourself?

It's no secret that I'm a Fibro suffering fool (to reference the fool part read Fibro Funnies), and that most days I battle with myself on how I feel...or just battle the day in general. I bounce back and forth with am I sick, am I making myself sick, is it really "sick," is it all in my head? Am I really this crazy?!

....am I really laying here right now talking to myself this long?

It might be those daily battles that really get the best of me. By the afternoon of my day I've already managed to think myself into a mental tornado of doubt, blame, and shame.


The thing is, none of it is fake, each day I just try to make myself believe that I can escape my physical reality. It's not until I actually stand up, walk, shower, eat, or begin socializing that it all comes swirling down... and there it comes, the stern no, it's not all in your head, you just didn't move yet...and for half a second you were mentally in a good place where the hope of a normal day was possible.

It probably sounds exhausting and cruel doesn't it? It sort of is, but to me the good news is that I'm always fighting to question myself on the reality of this plague. Instead of ending those mental battles on a negative note I choose to end it on a positive one. That glimmer of doubt is my body, my mind holding it's ground and reminding me that I am in control. Regardless of how the day may roll out I can always choose to start and end it feeling the way I want, and I choose to feel good, positive, and grateful for being alive.

I share this with you today because I know the weight you can have to just get out of bed each day, or how hard it really can be to just smile. As long as you have your mind anything is possible, and you can change your mind as often as you'd like!

So, whatever it is you're facing, depression, pain, a disease, a breakup, a miserable job, school, money problems, even a cold that you just can't shake; to know that when you have the mental power to consider that you don't have the "thing" that you're fighting inside is your choice to get to a place of living without it. You have already won for the day having a choice, choose happy and positive and the rest will follow.